Sad Eyes
by WhisperWrite
Summary: After being held hostage for three years, Jude Harrison returns into her old life - having to find out that not everything you left behind always remains the same. Instant Star Fanfiction about the difficulties of a girl to re-include herself.
1. Prologue

Sad Eyes

_Every day here you come walking  
I hold my tongue, I don't do much talking  
You say you're happy and you're doin' fine  
Well go ahead, baby, I got plenty of time_

Because sad eyes never lie  
Because sad eyes never lie

_Prologue_

My head is hurting once again. I don't know how many times he hit me yesterday, but it feels like thousands. I am not afraid that he'll come back today. He usually leaves me alone after his anger issues so he doesn't have to see me that ugly, with swollen lips and covered in blood. You could say this is his only weakness.

He hates blood. And he hates me. I see it everytime I look into his green eyes. He hates me for hating him. But what could he be expecting from a girl he kidnapped and held hostage for over three years. Did he think I would love him for abusing me? I don't think so. Maybe he is angry because I still call Tommy's name in my sleep. I am sure this makes him raging. And I don't understand it. Not that he's raged, but that I still scream for Tommy. Of course, at the beginning I was hoping for him to rescue me, he has been the last person to see me. But he didn't. And I became Joe's personal whore.

It's strange how time goes by. I think I am twenty right now, cause it was short after my 17th birthday when I was kidnapped. I still now what I was doing that day. I was singing _White Lines_ to Tommy and he told me to show my feelings.

And I did. The kiss he gave me for goodbye was one of the best I ever got – it wasn't the best cause of the one at my 16th Birthday.

I was walking home – or better flying on cloud nine – singing to myself when the car stopped next to me. The man called out of the window: "Hey girl, could you show me the way to main station?"

And stupid, naïve Jude approached and started talking. But I never finished.

I am hungry and thirsty. He hasn't been here for three days now. That is really strange; normally he can't live without_ it. _He needs me every almost two days. He's lucky I am healing so fast. My bruises are already purple and my lip's only a little swollen. I sit up on my bed and look through the dark room. The only light's coming from the moon outside, which is full tonight. It's snowing and the path in front of my window is all white. It would look beautiful to me if fear wasn't creeping through my veins. What the hell is going on? Why isn't Joe coming?

Of course I don't want _him_ to come, but I want food. I'm starving. The door opens and for the first time I am not scared. I will get something to eat! I look up at the man who's supposed to be Joe. But it isn't him!


	2. Breaking Free

Chapter 1

_Breaking Free_

The policeman enters the room. "Miss Harrison?"

It's so good to hear a human voice again – no, I don't think Joe is human! I just nod. He tells me his name but I forget it right away. What does it matter? He lifts me up and suddenly I am afraid to leave this all behind. I have been living in this room for three years! I look back and hope I'll never forget how everything looks – it's a part of my life alright.

He carries me out the door while talking, but I don't listen. I just look back.

We arrive at the police car where he places me in the back, next to a police officer. She looks at me with her blue eyes and asks me something. I just stare at her. She turns and talks to the man in the passenger seat who's now starting the car. I think I hear my name. She gives me another look and speaks up again.

"Jude, are you okay?" This time I'm able to understand her.

"Yes!" I answer and my voice is emotionless. "I am fine, thanks." She once again talks to the policeman in the front and this time I hear something about me being in a state of shock. I just smile. I'm not shocked – I'm empty. There's nothing in me anymore. It's like my heart and soul and even my stomach were removed. Only my brain is still working. And my brain tells me to be polite. I just do what it wants from me.

A little later my brain is instructing me to get some food. And I obey, again.

"Could I get something to eat?" I ask the woman next to me.

"Of course, darling." She hands me some chips and salad and even meat. "Take whatever you want!" I smile at her but she doesn't return it. She isn't impolite, she's just worried. I put some food into my mouth and start chewing. It tastes good. After this I feel my stomach coming back. It's like a click and I can feel it. It even makes a sound. Grrrmmll. My eyes get teary. I know that it's really silly to cry but I am just so happy. If this one is coming back, maybe my heart and soul can be rescued, too.

Suddenly I feel lighter. I even remember the policeman's name.

"Officer Darnell, could you tell me how… why… where is he?"

The woman next to me answers instead of the Officer I was talking to.

"Joe Surrey was caught by police last night, trying to abuse a girl. And after taking his fingerprints and comparing them with the ones of cold cases, we found it was the one who kidnapped you. We searched through his stuff and found the address of this house." Now she smiles down at me. "Everything is getting better from now on, you're father will be called after we arrive at the police station and you'll be able to go home."

"My Dad?" Jude tries to understand everything. "He will be called?"

"Yes!" The woman answers. "He will come and get you. He and your sister were so worried! They came to the station every day at the beginning. After about three month it was just once a week, but they kept doing that the whole time, just to see if there were any news about you. Though we would have called them anyway, if there was something."

"And G-Major?" Suddenly there is a big lump in my throat. Did _he_ come to look for me?

The police Officer smiles. "Your Boss is an extremely uncomfortable man, he phoned so many times. First he stayed calm but after a while he started to shout at people and insult them!"

I just stare at her. "My… boss?"

"Darius Mills! He is your boss, right?"

"Yes, of course!" The woman keeps talking about all the people who came to ask for me, but his name isn't mentioned once. My concentration is going off - now that I am sure I won't get any information about him. After a while the woman notices I am not listening anymore, so she shuts up.

Being at home once again is a strange feeling. It is like nothing changed. But everything has. My Dad and Sadie are running all around me, trying to help me though I don't need anything. When I can't take it anymore I tell them I am tired and they leave me alone. I am convinced that I'll go to G-Major tomorrow. I just can't stand being at home with my family having those looks on their faces – looks like I am going to become crazy as soon as they leave me.

I am not! I feel like I'm not inside my body, though. I am flying above my bed looking down at Jude Harrison. No, I am not dead, I just feel that way! I fall asleep soon, but I have only him in my dreams.

When I open the door to G-Major everything and everyone is freezing. It is like they are seeing a ghost or something. I smile and raise my voice.

"Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm just here for my third album!" Suddenly there is a scream behind me and Spied is running across the lobby right to me.

"Oh my gosh, JUDE!!!!" He gives me a big hug and another and also a third one. I can't keep myself from sobbing as Kyle and Wally come running to hug me, too.

"Hey guys, I missed you!"

"We missed you too, Dude." Spied can't get rid of his silly smile, but I know how he feels. Just the way I feel when I remember whom I'm going to see soon.

I look around but can't find him. "Uhm, Spied, where is…Tommy?"

He gets a worried look on his face. "He's right down the hall, in Studio B." He points in the direction and I start walking. Why is my heart suddenly racing? As I crack open the Studio B door he instantly glances up and immediately meets my gaze. He looks at me surprised confused and there is something else, but I don't understand it. I release the door and it falls shot behind me. Tommy stands up and approaches without breaking the eye contact. "Jude." He brushes back my hair and carries my cheek with his thumb. I can't breath.


	3. Good Enough

Chapter 2

_Good enough_

"Hey!" I whisper. He hesitates then pulls me into a light hug. I know why he is doing this and I love him even more. He does not want to hurt me. I take a step back and look into his perfect face – well, perfect for me. I haven't seen any other person besides Joe for so long. And if I look into a man's face, even if it is my own dad, I am reminded of him. I don't know why this is happening, but I know that I have to get rid of it before I start anything with Tommy. I need time to heal. Maybe my skin is nearly repaired, but my inside is still in peaces.

I finally move my eyes away from Tommy and look through the glass into the booth. There is someone inside I don't know: A girl with brown hair and eyes, staring at me like I am a phantom. I have no idea who she is and I really don't want to talk to someone new right now. I have enough to do with the familiar persons. I mumble something about me having a meeting with Darius and leave the studio. I can feel his look on my back like someone is burning me with fire. But I don't look back. I am yet not able to do something like flirting.

When I knock at his office door I hear D's angry voice. "Only important stuff!" I glance in and he looks up to see who's outside.

"Jude!" He jumps up and I'm a little scared from his sudden movement. "Come in!" I walk into the familiar room and sit on the chair opposite Darius.

"Jude… I don't know what to say. I had no idea you were coming in. Why, when?"

I look at my hands and tell him I was found last night and police brought me home.

"And I really wanted to come in today - I want to go on with my normal life as soon as possible." D stares at me in disbelieve. I imagine he thinks I'm a little bizarre. I need to say part of the truth. "I wanted to escape Sadie and my Dad, and I wanted to get to see everyone over here. G-Major's like my second family!"

D is persuaded. "Well, if this is what you want." He requests to show me around in G-Major to meet the new staff and see the new studios. I agree. I don't think he would be content with an objection.

We leave the office and once again people start to stare at me. But D makes them move fast. "What are you staring at? Never seen Jude Harrison before? Don't you have stuff to do?" The employees fast go on doing their work. I still feel observed. After some time I see why I sense that way. A man around my age is watching my every move from the red couch. A guitar is leaning next to him.

"Who is the guy over at the sofa?" I ask D interrupting his speech about new soundboards. He looks over.

"Oh that is Ronan - he was found by Jamie and has a great talent. He's doing a rock-punk album and he wrote all his songs alone. He hates people trying to change his style. That's why I had to get a new producer, too. Him and Tommy were always discussing and fighting." He shakes his head in disapproval. "If Ronan wouldn't have this great voice, he would be out since one year."

My jaw falls open. "ONE YEAR?!" D looks at me confused.

"Well, yes. He was hired one year ago. That's not that long of a time. Sam has been here for almost three years now." He points into the direction of Studio B. The brunette, it comes to my mind. I get a concerned look on my face. What if…

"You don't need to worry," D reassures me, misunderstanding my expression. "You're still number one of my artists. They are great, too, but noting against Jude Harrison."

He excuses himself because he has an important business meeting and leaves me in the middle of G-Major, alone.

I once again see that Ronan looking at me, but I don't feel like talking to anyone. I feel like listening to music. After some time I persuade myself to go into Studio B to watch Tommy work and hear Sam sing. I open the door and Tommy looks up right away, as if he had been waiting for me to return. I point at the chair standing next to him not to interrupt his work. He smiles and nods, I sit down and look up. Sam is giving me a strange look. Maybe she wonders what I'm doing in here. Or she doesn't know me at all. Okay, that's not very likely, but I also feel conceited to think everyone has to recognize me. I'm a star, true, but I am not like Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, in the papers everyday. Tommy notices the change of feelings. He stops the music and hits the income. "Sam, I want you to meet Jude Harrison. Jude, that's Sam Cooper." I nod and the girl smiles at me shyly. She can not be older than eighteen. Once again I have this feeling, like when D told me about this girl before. She was fifteen when she came here. Just like me. And Tommy is her producer.

Tommy looks at me worried. He once again talks into the income. "Sam, would you like to have a short break?" She nods and leaves the booth like someone's going after her. Tommy sets the headphones on the board and turns his chair in my direction. I start looking at my fingernails intensely. Tommy scoops forward and lifts my chin with his hand. He looks me in the eyes after I raise my eyelids.

"Jude," his voice is smooth and velvet. "I need you to know that I missed you like crazy. Every night I went to sleep with thoughts about you, and you were even in my dreams. I couldn't be at G-Major without you in my mind. I asked D to get Studio B so it would be easier to work, but still. Jude, maybe this isn't the right point of time, but I want you to know: I still love you!" I stare at him and tears start running down my cheeks.

"Please don't cry." He wipes them away with his thumb while approaching. His lips are only inches away.

"Tommy, I can't do this!" I whisper. "I am so sorry." He takes me into his arms and hugs me for a long time.

"I won't give up on you, Jude. I just need to know you still want me and I will wait."

"And if it takes ten years until I'm able to be with you again?"

"Then I'll wait ten years." He looks at me with seriousness in his eyes. "To know you love me is good enough."


End file.
